The world is changing rapidly. Every day, more and more people come out as trans, from young children to internationally recognized celebrities. But how do they know they’re trans? Unfortunately, there is no medical test that can answer that question; no blood work or brain scan or chromosomal analysis. However, by looking through this simple guide, you may be able to gain important insight into whether or not you, dear reader, are transgender.
1. You have come out as transgender.
This is the closet you came out of.
This is perhaps the most obvious sign that you’re trans. So look back and ask yourself: Have I come out as transgender? Perhaps in a letter to friends and family, perhaps in a touching YouTube video, perhaps in a meeting with HR? If so, you may be transgender.
2. You know what gender dysphoria means.
The experience of knowing what gender dysphoria means
Knowing what gender dysphoria means is no guarantee of being trans; it may simply mean you’re a gender studies major. Nevertheless, the next time you put on gendered clothing or engage in a stereotypically gendered behavior, ask yourself: Could I define gender dysphoria if I was called to do so?
3. You take hormones.
The reason for #9
Estrogen. Testosterone. Testosterone blockers. Progesterone. Not just beautiful names for your pet guinea pig. No, possessing these powerful hormones and hormone-blockers in your medicine cabinet may be a sign that you are transgender.
4. You have a vagina, but used to have a penis (or vice versa).
The keyhole represents your new hole.
Search deep within yourself: Do you remember visiting a surgeon and undergoing gender reassignment surgery? If so, you may be transgender.
5. You have a butterfly tattoo.
Just take your pick
(Sorry, like, literally all the trans women I know.)
6.Your parents constantly misgender you.
Seriously, this came up when searching for an image of ‘misgender.’ It’s as good as anything, I suppose. WHY IS NOTHING I DO GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!
Maybe they’re just senile. Or maybe, just maybe, you might be a little bit transgender.
7. You get irrationally upset at everything posted on Facebook.
THIS IS YOU!
If you’ve used the words “intersectionality,” “kyriarchy,” “or post-gender-binary” when angrily responding to someone else’s Facebook post, you should get yourself checked for trans.
8. Your girlfriend uninvited you to MichFest.
I assume MichFest was something like this. I don’t know; I was never allowed to attend. Because of my penis.
While MichFest may be gone, the disdain MichFesters hold for trans women lingers on. If you were excited about attending this (now defunct) annual women’s music festival, only to find out that your cis girlfriend is asking you not to go, you’re probably trans.
9. Your parents hate you.
“Could you at least put on that dress your mother bought you? And maybe a little makeup?”
Regardless of the pronouns your parents use when referring to you, if they express a deep dislike of your identity and life choices you are likely either trans, pursuing a career in the arts, or both.
10. You’ve started a fitness blog.
Behind every great woman is a great woman of color. Behind her is an out-of-focus trans douche who is about to tell you how much he can deadlift.
Not a sure sign, but examine your posts carefully for telltale hashtags, including #buffitout #ftmfitness #butchlyfe
11. Your name rhymes with Aiden.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men shared names that rhyme with Aiden
All spellings of Kaden, Jaiden, Hayden, Raydon, Seitan, etc, should check their pants immediately for signs of a packy.
12. Your name is Aiden.
And some daye the Aidens shalle arise in a great clone army, and yea shalle the the Aidens – and also the Haydens and Jaidens and the Faydens too – will scour the worlde of the unbelieeeverse
See #11.
